PersonalDNA

I'm not a huge fan of these personality tests, but PersonalDNA has the coolest interface ever. And I'm totally behind anyone that calls me an Advocating Artist, too. Plus they have this cool little PersonalDNA Map gizmo, and as everyone knows I think gizmos are cool. If you really just think I'm so cool that you need to know everything about me, or if you're an FBI Profiler looking for data on me, you can read the full report to find out what makes me tick.

Some Goals For 2007

I was about to post my traditional quote here, but I realized that Alienne has already done it more fully than I wanted to type in her Live Journal. Go read A Long December and just pretend that's my post, as I can echo every word of those sentiments exactly. It's December 26, 2006 as I write this, but this should be the first post of 2007 when I publish. Assuming I manage to wake up in 2007 at all. Nothing interesting here, but I wanted to post some goals so that I'd have something to talk about next year at this time. So here they are, in no particular order:

• 50 stomach crunches per day by June
• Find way to sync Google Calendar events and Remember The Milk tasks to Blackberry
• More creativity - blog, podcast, photograph, just make something more often than I have been. Stop letting my brain atrophy just because I'm writing code for a living again.
• More live poker - twice a month? maybe even once a week? - including my first live tournament not played at a kitchen table.
• Find mental equilibrium.
• More new music. More new books. Buy some comic books that I've downloaded and appreciate. Buy more mini-mates.
• Get my passport. Find a reason to use it. Or at least go to Vegas.

Okay, that's a pretty scattered list. I'll probably think of some more over the next few days and may even add some updates. As it stands, the year has started out pretty bad, which is a good omen in my warped little mind. We'll see how it goes, but I'm hoping that things can only get better from here.

The Spirit Of Christmas Passed (doing about 80MPH)

I went out for a little last-minute gift shopping today, mostly because it's a personal tradition of self-torture. I'd already found the items I was trying to purchase on-line, in preparation for the my inevitable annual frustration tantrum during this trip, but it didn't happen. Neither the traffic nor the tempers were up to par this year, and even the Santas seemed to be smiling. Perhaps global warming has thawed the hearts of my fellow citizens. Maybe it's because X-Eve is on a Sunday this year, so everybody got their shopping done early. Then again, maybe the shit is going to hit the fan when the malls try to close at six o'clock tonight. I might get that Riot At The Galleria Playset that I wanted so much after all. Of course, I'm not going to let all this happiness and nice weather touch my Seasonal Affective Disorder. I used to really love this season, all the gift-giving and decorating and crap. I'm not really sure what happened, but it seems like these days I can no longer afford the cost of The Perfect Gift or the time for Holiday Cheer. You know what they say about Christmas... lotta suicides. From one of my favorite bloggers, Violet Blue:

Damn this nauseatingly familial season. I bought little foil bows for no reason at all. I think I will stick them on my cat. And maybe my tits. [...] Maybe if I find more eel porn it will put me out of my misery before tomorrow.

From The M&M Army of djwudi

Of course, family stuff isn't until tomorrow. And even then, not my family, which makes it slightly more embarrassing but an equivalent amount more uncomfortable. This will be the third or fourth year that The Brat and I go to Ghan's parents' for dinner, for no better reason than they're willing to have us and it's slightly more social than, say, drinking anti-freeze. It's ironic that I spent years skipping out on my family however I could, only to be trapped into a family gathering to which I don't belong. At least The Brat can get drunk and flirt with Ghan's dad. Mostly I either sit uncomfortably at the table playing with the trains or whatever that were attached to the customary M&Ms, or standing uncomfortably on the porch smoking by myself. On the plus side, at least her dad is a good cook. As long as they don't try to serve me a duck while telling me it's turkey, it is less intolerable than my Parental X-Dinner used to be (Me at 8: "If this is turkey then you found the smallest, greasiest turkey ever, Mom." Mom: "Just eat it and shut up."). I think that family gatherings are mostly about showing up and smiling politely, and maturity has brought me those abilities if little else. Eventually however, the rich food, nervousness and boredom inexorably clamp down on my abdomen. The smile will become weaker, and then even the showing up starts to fade. Usually at that point, I leave The Brat with Topher and Ghan to continue her drunkening while I beg off the further festivities to get back to online poker. There I discover the True Spirit Of Christmas in the generosity of those poor souls, probably stuck on some relative's computer, drunk and trying to give away their stocking stuffer subsidies playing 60% of their hands on the $2/$4 6-max tables. Ah yes... it's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Maybe I'll watch NORAD's Santa-tracker to see if the Russians can scramble their MIGs in time this year. Boxing Day just can't come soon enough for me.

So-oh-oh Urgent... Emergency!

So it's official, I'm on the 15-day Disabled List with a rotator cuff injury. Like a pitcher afraid of the play-offs, I have now managed to acquire a soft-tissue injury immediately preceding three of the our four moves. I have no real clue how bad it is yet, as I'm unable to get in to see an orthopedist until January 4. I imagine I'll get an MRI at that point and find out whether I've torn it or just strained it. Of course, with any luck it will no longer by sore by that point, which will answer the question without forcing me to removing my tongue stud. I've always sort of had a problem with going to the emergency room, unless I thought I was likely to be admitted. It seems to me that ER staff have exactly two types of patients to deal with: whiny little bitches and people who are dying. Neither of those are categories in which I particularly wish to be placed. I may have found a good solution to this dilemna by visiting the St. Anthony's Urgent Care Center. I had never been to one of these nearly-an-emergency rooms before, but it seems far less stressful than an ER. Inside of 30 minutes I was signed up, processed, talked to the doc, and out the door with a sling and two scripts. Of course, actual mileage may vary, as this was a Sunday afternoon and I may have been the only patient. Still, it's worth remembering as an alternative to waiting three weeks for a appointment with my Primary Care Physician.

Tiltmore Hotel Photos

There comes a time in every blogger's life when it's time to grow up and write your first I'm-About-To-Buy-A-House post. I told a couple of people that I'd have these images posted Wednesday night, but I had underestimated my ability to take really terrible interior photos. These Google queries have lead me to believe that both the Madness and CSN titles have been way overdone for this particular flavor of personal blog post. Instead I went with the more obscure Six Flags reference. in honor of the slightly queasy angles I managed to capture in most of these photos. I hope the clever captioning and a little of Picasa's "I'm Feeling Lucky" button makes up for the two day wait and possibility of induced vertigo.

House Inspection Blog Photos 2006.11.29

A few notes to myself for the next time I go through the house-buying process:

• Borrow decent camera, take pictures after finishing coffee
• Pre-approved to sign paperwork in reverse
• Make more money
• "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it threatening to reveal the results of my inspection unless you drop the price or fix stuff."
• Set closing date for wife's birthday (anniversary or Valentine's Day would work as well) to save shopping time.
• [Updated 2006-12-01 10:35pm] Never let emotions affect your dealing with barracuda, lasagna, and realtors.
• [Updated 2006-12-01 11:15pm] Don't tell anyone you're pregnant before the second trimester.
• [Updated 2006-12-07 11:37pm] That was a metaphor, people. I was merely implying that the deal could still fall apart. So far as I know, we are closing 2006-12-20 and no one is pregnant.

As this process is on-going, I reserve the right to add or remove items from this list.

That's Me, Dressed As A Slutty Blogger

The back-side in the costume is The Brat, almost dressed as Slutty Red Riding Hood. The was of course pre-hood as well as pre-lace-up.

My costume is actually supposed to be Hugh Hefner, although I brought it up as a joke. "I don't want to have to wear anything more complicated than pajamas," I told The Brat. "And Arthur Dent is played out. I think it's gotta be Hef."

It was really just a one-off, an attempt to dodge the question, but once she ordered the silk pajamas and silk robe, what was I supposed to say.

Next year perhaps I'll be James Bond so I can get a nice tux. Or maybe Adam Ant in his Dandy Highwayman or Prince Charming phase. That is, if I don't just go as Alfred Hitchcock, as seen here.

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They should have shopped at Girls's Costume Warehouse

The woman in the party store looked skeptically at the picture of the model wearing the witch costume. "Don't you think it's a little... revealing?" she asked. Her larger friend stifled a laugh. "Sure, but you can pull it off." I stifled a laugh as I passed, as well. "I could pull that off," I told them. "We're not at Fredericks', y'know. It's Halloween, ladies; you can't just be a witch, you have to be a slutty witch."

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I'ts taken me far too long to put this together. AW (not Adam Weishaupt) got his pics to me a day or so after the party, and I had the album on the web with his kind permission within a few days. I'm not sure if the quality is due to the camera (phone AW?), the lighting or the inebriation of the photographer, but I was just glad to have some shots.

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Topher got some really good shots early in the party, but discovered quickly that a drunken banana with Mickey Mouse hands should not be handling expensive photographic equipment. It took him a while to get them up in a Flickr set, but I can't complain because it took me longer to post this.

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I wish I had some Amazing Tales Of The Party, but I spent so much time mixing (and tasting) drinks that much of the party is a blur to me, and all the good stories were things that happened outside the kitchen. I'm also not aware of any other photos, so if you have any leave a comment or email me at owenj23 at gmail dot com. I'd love to post or link to them. Thanks to everyone for coming, it was a great time, and we hope to see you again on NYE whenever we next have a party.

For now I'll leave you with this picture that I found on an MSDN blog to which I've lost the link. This is my suggested costume for BMW next Halloween, if he doesn't want to be The Whiny Baby again.